Sleeplessness
by PunkAkauntan
Summary: AKKA. Sleep eludes Kira as he worries over Athrun's wellbeing. Minor spoiler for GSD 4243
1. Chapter 1

**Pairing:** Kira x Athrun  
**Archive:** www.boysdorm.info/home.html  
**Feedback:** Much appreciated as always, either here or email me at punkakauntan(at)gmail(dot)com  
**Disclaimer:** Gundam SEED / Gundam SEED DESTINY belongs to Sunrise, Bandai and Sotsu. No trademark infringement intended and no money made from this fanfic.

**Author's Notes:** I'm doing a series of vignettes set during Kira & Athrun's lifespan to get my writing back into the groove. Had been terribly bogged down with factual (and boring) report writing for work, it's bad for my grammar & syntax. This one is based on Endless Future prompt **#4: can't sleep.** May take some liberties from the seen anime timeline. Mild spoiler for ep.42.

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**Sleeplessness**, by PunkAkauntan

It was well past 1:00 A.M. and the luminous digits on the bedside clock continued to tick away the minutes.

Kira was lying flat on his bed, unable to sleep despite the bone deep weariness that weighed him down. The afternoon's incident kept repeating in his mind and made him restless.

He remembered pulling Athrun's limp form from Justice's cockpit, and the panic that gripped him when he saw the blood streaming down Athrun's face. He distinctly remembered how that panic had rapidly solidified into fear.

Kira had spent the evening in the infirmary, shoulders hunched, trying without much success to remain calm. Kira, of course, had received a good telling off from Lacus for not getting enough rest of his own, and as she had correctly pointed out, he would be useless to everyone if he had to sortie in his current exhausted state. Kira couldn't even be bothered to defend himself. He just sat there, gazing at his best friend, feeling wretched. It was only after the Captain intervened that he had finally relented, and on her orders trudged to his sleeping quarters albeit very reluctantly.

His thoughts were interrupted by a soft robotic chirp; he turned to his side, and reached out to stroke Torii. The robotic bird cocked its head and stared through its beady eyes at its master. Then, with a whirl of mechanical wings it flew the short distance to the chair where Kira's jacket lay and chirped once more.

Sitting up, Kira puzzled at the bird. Torii hopped back and forth, and then flew in a circle around the room, before finally landing on the desk, its head cocked towards the door's control panel. It chirped again. Kira swung his feet off the bed, slipped on his shoes and left the room quietly with Torii perched on his shoulder.

The ship was silent; most of its crew had retired for the night. Without warning, Torii took flight, swooping down the deserted corridor that led away from the general sleeping quarters. Kira followed it at a run and soon found himself standing before the entrance to the infirmary.

Torii rapped impatiently at the control panel with its beak. Kira looked mildly startled, but his expression quickly changed into one of comprehension. He stretched out his arm and Torii settled itself on the back of his hand, chirping softly, its head swivelling from the door to its master and back to the door.

Looking around and finding the corridor deserted, Kira quickly punched in the code and let himself in.

The room was dark but for a small nightlight set high on the far wall. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the semi darkness within. He padded softly towards the room's lone occupant and knelt by the bedside. For long moments he studied Athrun's sleeping form, listened to the rhythm of his breathing before finding the courage to take hold of his hand.

Torii settled itself at the foot of the bed and went silent.

Kira leaned closer, and studied Athrun's restless features as though it was the first time he was really seeing him. _What are you dreaming of?_ Kira wondered. When Athrun's brows furrowed and he stirred lightly in his sleep, Kira's grip on his hand tightened reflexively. Athrun looked so vulnerable just then, like a little boy lost, belying the fact he was one of the most self-assured person Kira had ever know in his lifetime. A selfless friend and protector -- someone who wouldn't think twice about putting his safety and happiness above his own.

Suddenly, it dawned upon him that he had lost count of the number of times Athrun had risked his life to protect him.

The fear that had been gnawing at the back of Kira's mind slammed full force into him. The stark prospect of losing his life-long friend chilled him to the marrow, and it almost paralysed him.

_What would I do without you?_

Kira laid his head on the pillow, close to Athrun's. A hot prickling sensation started at the back of his eyes and he blinked rapidly to banish the tears that threatened to fall. Athrun sighed softly in his sleep, which sounded vaguely like 'Kira'. Kira's heart skipped a few beats, and he held his breath, forgetting to exhale.

"... Kira ..."

This time the word was clearer, undoubtedly so; Kira shifted closer until their foreheads almost touched. He felt rather than saw Athrun shift onto his side, facing towards him. Athrun's hold on his hand tightened, and his hair tickled Kira's nose.

Kira wasn't even aware of what he was doing; he responded by unexpectedly moving onto the bed. In his sleep, Athrun shifted to make room for him. In the half light, Kira's vision was a blur of pale skin, bandages and dark hair, unfocused because Athrun was up so close. Kira curled his free hand around Athrun, clasping him to his body.

The minutes passed slowly. A low murmur escaped Athrun as he snuggled against Kira's warmth. Kira stroked his back gently and closed his eyes, feeling exceedingly comfortable. When Athrun snuggled closer, he ghosted a kiss on the other boy's forehead.

Kira knew he should be getting back to his quarters; it would be highly embarrassing if someone was to walk in to find him in the patient's bed.

_Just a minute more,_ he promised himself. _It's so warm here ..._

He didn't quite finish the thought as sleep ambushed him.

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Zeddy © March 2006  
Published: 9 March 2006 


	2. Chapter 2

**Pairing:** Kira x Athrun  
**Archive:** www.boysdorm.info/home.html  
**Feedback:** Much appreciated as always, either here or email me at punkakauntan(at)gmail(dot)com  
**Disclaimer:** Gundam SEED / Gundam SEED DESTINY belongs to Sunrise, Bandai and Sotsu. No trademark infringement intended and no money made from this fanfic.

**Author's Notes:** Part 2, based on Endless Future prompt **#10: don't tell anyone**.

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**Sleeplessness II**

Kira opened his eyes, and the first thing he saw was Athrun lying beside him, gazing at him with lucid green eyes. He blinked twice, still groggy -- he wondered if he was dreaming, but just then Athrun smiled at him and squeezed his hand lightly.

"Aaaaah ..." Kira almost fell off the bed, his face flushing crimson with embarrassment. He didn't plan on actually sleeping with Athrun -- at least not in the infirmary -- and to be caught in the act mortified him.

"You're awake, I see." Athrun smiled, looking completely unflustered. "Slept well?"

Kira goggled at him for a moment, speechless. Athrun pressed closer, hooked his ankle around Kira's calf. A soft unintelligible gurgle issued from Kira's throat, and he bolted upright.

How Athrun managed to stay calm was beyond him. Kira's eyes darted towards the door, as if expecting it to slide open anytime and for someone to walk in and give him a serious talking to for molesting the patient. Or worse still, for Lacus to walk in and give him a terse lecture on the importance of maintaining a level of decorum for appearance sake.

Kira struggled to say something, anything -- well, maybe not anything, but something to excuse his gaffe. But all he managed was a rather pathetic squeak.

"Hey, Kira." Athrun slid closer to him, looking rather glowing for someone who had blood streaking down his face and chest barely twelve hours ago. "Did you stay with me throughout the night?"

"Aaaa ..." Kira managed at last.

"I see." Athrun winced as he struggled to sit up.

"Hey, don't get up! You're not okay yet." Embarrassment forgotten, Kira took hold of Athrun's shoulders, steadying him.

Athrun couldn't help chuckling. "I'm fine, Kira. Quit fussing."

"You always say that!" Kira shot him an adamant look as he arranged the pillows behind Athrun and helped him into a comfortable sitting position. Athrun let him.

Minutes passed in silence. They gazed at each other, and a range of emotions flickered beneath their carefully composed faces.

"Athrun ..." Kira began.

"Kira ..." Athrun said at the same time.

"You first." They said simultaneously.

The underlying tension suddenly lifted and both broke into quiet laughter. Athrun reached out to grasp Kira's arms by the elbows.

"Thanks for staying with me," he said simply.

Kira's eyes softened. "I couldn't sleep worrying about you," he said quietly.

"Is that so?"

Kira nodded, feeling terribly silly. He looked at Athrun, half expecting him to tease him about it. Instead, he saw the understanding in his eyes. He chanced a timid smile.

Athrun drew a deep breath, leaned forwards and pressed a chaste kiss on his cheek.

"What's that for?" Kira looked stunned.

Athrun raised his eyes to Kira's. "For being there for me."

Kira said nothing. Athrun noticed the strange expression that flitted briefly across his face, and then it vanished as swiftly as it appeared. Kira turned his head a little, and their foreheads bumped together lightly.

"Athrun ..."

Athrun held his breath and his heart skipped a beat as Kira lifted his chin and kissed him firmly yet gently on the mouth. He was secretly surprised at Kira's audacity -- it had been a while since they were last together, and the long and hard months they had been apart, fighting on different sides of the war had eroded his hope of ever resuming the intimacy they had between them. Obviously, judging by Kira's actions his fears were unfounded; nothing had changed between them. His hands instinctively moved along Kira's shoulders to hold the back of his head as he kissed Kira back.

Kira's lips curled upwards as he ran his tongue across Athrun's lower lip. Athrun felt warm and pliant in his arms, and his just-woken-up smell enveloped him in a pleasant and fuzzy haze.

Neither heard the door slid open with a soft hiss, and it was after someone coughed politely that they finally broke apart. Kira was rather mortified and made a face, but Athrun quickly composed himself and greeted the doctor without a trace of embarrassment, as if being caught snogging his best friend was something perfectly normal.

"Feeling better this morning?" the doctor asked in a neutral tone as she glanced sideways at them.

Kira gave her a lopsided grin and moved to the stool by the bedside. He watched in silence as the doctor performed a routine check on Athrun, and was relieved she didn't question why he was there so early in the morning dressed in his pyjamas with his hair sticking out more than usual, and more suspiciously, snogging her patient.

After a while, the doctor left, but not before she cast them a brief and rather understanding look.

As soon as the door slid shut Athrun patted the space beside him, and Kira settled next to him once more.

"I am so dead if she tells," Kira said in a hollow voice.

Athrun stifled a laugh. "You'll just have to threaten her with Freedom, Kira."

Kira grinned, then leaned over and kissed him tenderly on the cheek. "Well, let's just hope it won't come to that, or Lacus and Cagalli will have our guts for breakfast."

A pensive expression spread across Athrun's face and clouded his eyes. Finally, he asked, "They don't know, do they?"

"Lacus suspects, but Cagalli ..." Kira trailed off.

Athrun bowed his head, and said nothing. Kira grasped his hands, held them protectively between his own. Both knew that it would be a matter of time before they had to tell her the truth, but until then they had to keep up the charade that they were nothing more than just best friends.

Zeddy © March 2006  
Published: 9 March 2006


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